Blog 11 "Loyal"

Harrison Cade
Essay 2 draft
Loyal

I think it is very funny how life works. If you actually sit back and watch things in your life unfold, you will truly be blown away. It feels like someone is putting me in different situations and putting certain people in my life for who knows what reason. I ask myself all the time, “why are in my life.” I don’t always come up with the right answers to the questions, but I will just say that the time that it takes for me to figure it out has been a gift. I try to learn things from the people that I keep around me, good or bad. The funny thing is, I sometimes learn about myself and the things that I will put up with. I guess a good way to figure out what it is about people is to figure out why they are in my friend zone in the first place. I am actually speaking about one person. I have been through a lot of extra drama on his account and for years I have wondered why I do it to myself. I honestly don’t have to deal with it, but I do. The whole thing started in middle school.
It was eighth grade year when I kept hearing about this seventh-grader who supposed to be an amazing running back. Every other day I heard his name along with his stats and accolades. I never met him until later in the year. It was very nice to meet him because he just seemed so cool and we just clicked. We didn’t hang out that much because we had different friends at the time but I knew we would be cool in high school. We both had plans to play football in the neighboring high school so it wouldn’t be the last time I saw Kj.
I didn’t see him my freshman year of high school obviously because he was still in the middle school. At this time I was playing junior varsity football. I was playing in a game when I sprained my ankle. The injury wasn’t too serious, I just couldn’t practice for a few days. One of the days that I missed from practice was the day when I got a chance to see Kj play. As I limped around, my coach told me to be in charge of the first down markers in the freshman football game. I didn’t feel like doing it but at least I got to watch this young phenom play. I tell no lies when I talk about football, but this kid was a monster. I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t believe what I was watching.
Sometimes there are times when you think someone is lying to you but you don’t want to believe it. Kj was becoming one of the same people that I tried to stay away from. I believe that you are the company you keep. I didn’t want to be seen with a bunch of liars. I heard story about some of the lies that Kj told other people. As soon as they figured out that Kj was a liar, they all started to cut him off one by one. The whole time that this was happening, I was defending him and convincing these people that he wouldn’t do things like this. Even if I would love friends of mine because of him, it seemed ok to me. For some reason, I felt like it was my job to play the big brother role and keep him out of the trouble that he would create. I was never given this responsibility from anyone, but sometimes it all just falls into place.
I was home for the weekend when I got a call from Kj. I knew something was wrong because of the hour that he called. Kj told me to get up and drive to some kid’s house for some fight. I was about to get out of my bed as I began to feel weird. Something sounded funny with his story. Kj was telling me a few names of people that were supposedly at this kid’s house. One of the names that I heard was a close friend of mine named Joey that I knew wouldn’t be at a place like that. I decided to called Joey and ask him what the situation was. I didn’t want to sound obvious about what I was calling for, so I began talking about something else. Eventually, I asked Joe when the last time he saw Kj was. Joey told me that he hasn’t seen him in a year. This was when things started to seem real to me. I never thought that Kj would lie to me of all people, but now I know. I felt so hurt because I felt like all the time that spent helping this kid out was for nothing. So I left him alone for a while.
In college it is easy to get so involved with things that you forget to stay in touch with those who are still at home. It was a few weeks since I saw Kj last. I was in my room anxious to get to bed when my cell phone lit up. There were three text messages that might as well been pages from Kj. From what I was reading, it seemed like I was the only one that he felt that he could confide in. His words were so dark and sad at the same time. He was talking bout giving up on his life and how life would be without him in it. At first was shocked, but I couldn’t take too long to respond because every minute counts in this situation. I picked up my phone and started pressing buttons so fast you would think I was a pianist. I said some things that were motivational, but I let him know that he is in control of what he does in this world. Kj was capable of doing so much better for himself, but he was too busy getting into his own way. Needless to say, I talked him out of doing something horrible. This situation took a serious toll of me because I was sitting feeling like I could’ve been the last person that he talked to. I was worried and sweating all because I felt that it would be my fault if something happened to him.
Every time that I go home I make sure that Kj is ok and has everything that he needs. The harsh truth about this matter is that, sometimes I have views of him ending up in jail or worse. A question that I have to ask myself is why do I put myself through so much pressure. I am not this kid’s father or relative. I am just his friend that cares about him. Friendships are very funny sometimes. I remained friends with someone who treated myself and others worse than enemies would.