Blog 23

Guilty by association

Here I am, sitting next to this person who I used to know very well. I’m infuriated with myself for letting my friends convince me to do what they do. This kind of behavior always gets me in trouble. This room is getting colder and colder as time goes by. I’ve obviously been in a room like this before but things are different when you don’t belong here. This time I can’t leave until someone shows up with some money or these badges have a change of heart. At this point, I don’t think john even cares about where we are and what we are here for. John might as well have his own apartment here. If you haven’t guessed, we are in jail. I don’t want to get into why we are here, but I will so you can understand why I feel the way I do.
I guess it will all start with my friends. The friends that I have are my friends for a reason. There were a few times in particular when I needed someone to talk to or just to be there for me, and they were always there. True friends never need to be asked twice for help. In one specific situation, someone in my family passed away and it left me in shock and I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. Instead of me asking my friends to spend time with me, they just did it. My friends came by the house every single day with my favorite candy and other things that make me smile. The thing about these friends is that we treat each other like family. I honestly believe that what happened to me gave me a reason to cherish my friends more. College made things weird between us, but I found a way to make it work.
I usually come home on weekends to spend time with my friends because I don’t live around them anymore. The sad part is, I’m the only one from my crew that made it out of the city for school. This makes things weird when I come home because in order to be with my friends, I need to be around some things that could be illegal. Even though I was raised to stay away from these types of situations, part of me still wants to take the risk. I already knew that some of my friends were involved in drugs and alcohol but I only made a big deal out of it when I saw the flashing lights. We got lucky more times than I can remember simply because we were dumb youngsters and they had bigger fish to fry, but I’m sure that they didn’t forget our faces.
One time in particular, I wasn’t as lucky as I was used to being. My boys and I were headed to a party when one of the guys started talking about what he did last night. The kid named john was telling us that he broke in to this old lady’s house and stole some money and jewelry. John said that someone might’ve seen him break in because he heard the infamous sirens as soon as he took his first step out the back door. As expected, he took off running into the woods. In some cases, the woods would be the first place that police look when there is a disturbance. While John was running, he said that he heard keys shaking from different areas of the woods. At this point he realized that the cops had him cornered. At this point he fell to the floor and covered himself up with leaves and dirt. It was so dark outside that police couldn’t see him with their flashlights. John had on all black clothing and ended up sliding to the nearest bushes. Eventually the cops left the woods and returned to the house to try and gather some clues. John decided to run as fast he could to our friend’s house that lived a few blocks away. The new fugitive realized about an hour before we left for the party that he was missing his wallet. A flashback of his run through the woods came to john immediately. Unfortunately John was careless and didn’t treat as seriously as the rest of us. We were now about ten minutes away from the party when we saw the flashes of red and blue on the houses around us. We all suddenly took off like a rocket in all directions. I don’t know why I ran but my instincts decided for me. This decision was very stupid because as soon as I ran, I became a criminal. The cops don’t care why I’m running and they are planning to throw me into the same jail as the real criminals. I guess I have extremely bad luck because as I ran I realized that John was right behind me and so were the cops. We ran into a dead end and realized where I was headed. I was too scared to think and the sound of keys made things worse.
The cell was small and cold. I had plenty of time to observe my surroundings in case someone asks me what it was like. I also had enough time to think about what got me into this dark lifeless corner of the world. I was associating myself with the wrong people. I felt like I had to be around them because they were my friends. I can honestly say that I have made progress despite my current situation because I have identified the problem. I realize that a part of my heart felt as if I owed them for being with me through my rough times. In actuality, true friends don’t do things like that for a reward. I guess the title of this chapter of my life would be called guilty by association. I wasn’t a guilty person. I was as guilty as my friends were because I was with them for the wrong reasons. I guess this was yet another lesson learned. I just hope I get out soon so I can learn from my mistakes.

Blog 22

Big Ugly Review
This is an organization based on giving writers a chance and place to be noticed.The big Ugly Review is a non-paying market which ensures us that they only have room for writers who love and seeing writing as art.This is a theme based venue that gives the writers freedom to write about anything as long as it has something to do with the current theme.

Past themes- Fight or flight, The Body issue, The Contest issue, Hidden agendas, Maps, Broken things, and The First time.

Submission- All submissions must relate to the theme. Responses are from 4 to 8 weeks in length.You can enter via email or via US Mail.

Fiction submissions: fiction@biguglyreview.com
Non-fiction submissions: nonfiction@biguglyreview.com
Poetry submissions: poetry@biguglyreview.com
Photo-essay submissions: photo@biguglyreview.com
Music submissions: music@biguglyreview.com
Film submissions: film@biguglyreview.com

Categories-
Short Story: Up to 5,000 words

Flash Fiction: Up to 2,000 words

Creative Nonfiction: Up to 5,000 words

Poetry: Poems of any length and form.

Photo essay: series of ten photographs with captions

Music: send as an mp3 attachment or on CD

Film: films of 5 minutes or less


Big Ugly Review is posted online twice a year which gives plenty of time to perfect your work.

blog 21

In the homework I noticed that there was alot of writing about how important the readers are and how you need to tap into what they want.I specifically liked one of the suggestions about picking an idea from our journals and writing different beginings to the strories. It is also important to write from different points of view. This strategy will be helpful because it will give you so many different options to choose from.I do see why it is important to find some inspiration to write because it will give you feelings and emotion which turns into words. i used some of the strategies with my fourth draft revisions, I found it to be very helpful.

blog 20

I'm deciding to rewrite my last draft because I feel like there is more I can do with it. My focus will on making our own decisions and not letting a bond or friendship pull you in to dangerous situations. In draft 4 I tried to involve a good amount of action and descriptive language, but I still feel like I can go so much deeper. To begin, I need to describe what goes on around my friends that put them in their current situation. I feel that the readers need to know why my friends involve themselves in this type of danger. The action in the story was good, but I need to ivolve how the police knew where to find John. I like the draft version but the final revision will be so much better.

blog 19

Guilty by association

Here I am, sitting next to this person who I used to know very well. I’m infuriated with myself for letting my friends convince me to do what they do. This kind of behavior always gets me in trouble. This room is getting colder and colder as time goes by. I’ve obviously been in a room like this before but things are different when you don’t belong here. This time I can’t leave until someone shows up with some money or these badges have a change of heart. At this point, I don’t think john even cares about where we are and what we are here for. John might as well have his own apartment here. If you haven’t guessed, we are in jail. I don’t want to get into why we are here, but I will so you can understand why I feel the way I do.
I usually come home on weekends to spend time with my friends because I don’t live around them anymore. The sad part is, I’m the only one from my crew that made it out of the city for school. This makes things weird when I come home because in order to be with my friends, I need to be around some things that could be illegal. Even though I was raised to stay away from these types of situations, part of me still wants to take the risk. I already knew that some of my friends were involved in drugs and alcohol but I only made a big deal out of it when I saw the flashing lights. We got lucky more times than I can remember simply because we were dumb youngsters and they had bigger fish to fry, but I’m sure that they didn’t forget our faces.
One time in particular, I wasn’t as lucky as I was used to being. My boys and I were headed to a party when one of the guys started talking about what he did last night. The kid named john was telling us that he broke in to this old lady’s house and stole some money and jewelry. John said that someone might’ve seen him break in because he heard the infamous sirens as soon as he took his first step out the back door. As expected, he took off running into the woods. In some cases, the woods would be the first place that police look when there is a disturbance. While John was running, he said that he heard keys shaking from different areas of the woods. At this point he realized that the cops had him cornered. At this point he fell to the floor and covered himself up with leaves and dirt. It was so dark outside that police couldn’t see him with their flashlights. John had on all black clothing and ended up sliding to the nearest bushes. Eventually the cops left the woods and returned to the house to try and gather some clues. John decided to run as fast he could to our friend’s house that lived a few blocks away. The new fugitive realized about an hour before we left for the party that he was missing his wallet. A flashback of his run through the woods came to john immediately. Unfortunately John was careless and didn’t treat as seriously as the rest of us. We were now about ten minutes away from the party when we saw the flashes of red and blue on the houses around us. We all suddenly took off like a rocket in all directions. I don’t know why I ran but my instincts decided for me. This decision was very stupid because as soon as I ran, I became a criminal. The cops don’t care why I’m running and they are planning to throw me into the same jail as the real criminals. I guess I have extremely bad luck because as I ran I realized that John was right behind me and so were the cops. We ran into a dead end and realized where I was headed. I was too scared to think and the sound of keys made things worse.
The cell was small and cold. I had plenty of time to observe my surroundings in case someone asks me what it was like. I also had enough time to think about what got me into this dark lifeless corner of the world. I was associating myself with the wrong people. I felt like I had to be around them because they were my friends. I guess the title of this chapter of my life would be called guilty by association. I wasn’t a guilty person, I was as guilty as my friends were because I was with them. I guess this was yet another lesson learned.

Blog 18

The day I arrived was very surreal because I've never seen it rain when the sun was out. It was as if there were no cares. Every person around had this shine on them as if they weren't from this world. The water was so clear that I could see that I still needed to cut my nails. The people who actually lived there had this tan about them which makes them seem different, but they shared the same excitement. It is amazing that you could have this much fun without a passport. I was young and out of control and most likely missed out on alot of the things that were happening around me, but what I did see was unforgetable. This is a place where the dress code is very unique, these people want as many colors as possible. This is as close that you will get to a fairy tale place.

Blog 17 "My Turn"

Harrison Cade
“My Turn”

There I was, staring down at the blood on my shirt and hands. I guess I shouldn’t have tried to fight back. Everybody knows that Tom is bigger and stronger than I am. Something inside of me snapped and for some reason I felt like I could take him. Honestly, I don’t understand what it is about me that made him want to exercise his ego and reputation of being the biggest asshole in the Milky Way. It doesn’t matter what it is, but all I know is that this will not go on forever. Eventually, I will have my shot, and I will be so successful that the sight of people like him will be funny to me.
This whole thing started when I consistently received A’s on every test and quiz in ninth grade. Tom was older than everyone in my class for one of two reasons. Tom told everyone that he spent some time in a juvenile detention center for beating people up who pissed him off. In actuality, Tom had the worst grades known to man. He wasn’t eligible for graduation until he passed eighth grade, which took him three years. Anyway, As soon as Tom noticed that I was one of the smartest kids in class, he decided to make deals. Instead of using a normal approach, Tom punched me in the face and told me to give him the answers to the quizzes and test. Tom wasn’t as dumb as I thought because he hit me when the crowd in the hallway was the largest. The teachers never saw what Tom used to do. At first, I still wasn’t going to do what I was told because it was wrong. I was horrified of this “school veteran”, but he would have to find a way to make me. This is exactly what he did.
Here I am, hiding in the janitor’s closet until the bell rings. My heart was beating like the sound of a drumline. I knew that he couldn’t hurt me if the halls were clear after the bell. I began to show up late to classes everyday, and my excuses made me look like I had the most dramatic life in the world. Either didn’t catch on to things or they didn’t care. All I know is, Tom kept failing and I kept shining. I began to look at myself like a time bomb. I never dealt with things right when it happened, I thought that it would all go away if I try not to think about it. This strategy was a horrible one.
Tom saw me getting my jacket out of my locker and sparked the climax of my life story. Tom grabbed my shoulder and I turned around along with a right hook. Tom fell on his back and for about twenty seconds I felt like I was twelve feet tall. Of course I then received the worst beating of my life. All I could offer was that one punch, but that one punch was all I needed to change my life. I don’t think Tom was ever hit before because he didn’t bother me anymore, he only when to the next weak kid that he could find.
There is no reason to feel bad about what happened to me because you can learn a valuable lesson even when you’re getting your ass kicked. The older I got, I looked at Tom as being any challenge that I may come across in my life. There will be times when things seem too difficult to deal with and it makes you want to quit. I didn’t plan on using my old approach on lettings things get so bad and then exploding, but I did have an approach. I decided to deal with things immediately and make sure that I didn’t bury myself with things that I couldn’t control. This idea helped lower the amount of stress in my life. I can see now that one of the worst points in my life molded me into being a man.
Now I am successful and can actually say that I am happy. It feels good to fight back against negativity. I wish Tom was hear to see where I ended up, but I’m sure he is too busy fighting off the general population in whatever jail he was thrown in. This is the point in my life where I said I’d be laughing. Fortunately, the only direction I can go is up. I haven’t gone as far as I can go yet. This is the point in my life that I would call “my turn”.

Blog 16

In this essay I am focusing on someone who was beating up and treated the worst. In this story the main character realizes that he will have the last laugh. He realizes this when he first stood up for himself against the enemy. This is how life can be sometimes. I want to involve this lesson and show how things can turn from the worst to the best.

Blog 15 revised essay

Focus
By: Harrison Cade


I used to believe that some things were impossible to do in real life. Certain things belong on television and our imagination. To be honest, I was so stubborn that I wouldn’t believe something was real until I saw it or could touch it. My mindset changed the day I decided to play football outside with my best friend. Football to me was just something to do instead of my homework. I wasn’t one of those kids who went above and beyond to get the good grades in school. I was young so my first plans were to go outside and play and then decide whether or not to do my homework.
I was sitting in my house wondering what my next moves were going to be when my friend came over gasping for air. It was hard to understand what he was saying at first because he had run full speed all the way to my house. He came over to tell me that our rivals from down the street challenged us to a game of football. Little did I know that this game would mark the beginning of my football career and the start of some strange behavior that I never thought was possible. Before we left to go down the street, we listened to some music from the Rocky soundtrack to get ourselves in the zone. It was now game time, time to take what was ours. It was time to take the one thing that many people never get a chance to gain. I wanted to end up coming home with respect. We arrived at the field on time and ready to go to war. We played two on two football, one quarterback and one receiver. My friend Mike had a good arm so he chose to be the quarterback. I wanted to be the receiver because I felt that these guys couldn’t stop me in a million years. I lined up to Mike’s right and had so many things running through my mind. In my mind, I was telling myself that this kid across from me can’t run as fast as I can and that he couldn’t cover me. Mike said “go” and I took off. I not only had to avoid one guy, but I had to deal with his team mate as well. I put a move on one of them and saw that the ball was in the air. When the ball was thrown, things started happen to my body. I felt like everything slowed down and got very quiet. This feeling was so strange that it almost felt like I was in a white room with nothing in it but myself, the ball, and a gut trying to stop me from catching it. For the few seconds that the ball was in the air, I felt like a lifetime was going by. The ball was slowly getting closer and closer. When the ball came within my arms length things got serious because now it was me against the defender and I was not losing. I jumped as high as I could and grabbed the ball out the sky. When the ball touched my hand I came back to reality and outran both of my defenders to the end zone. I never actually thought about what happened until recently, but now that I think about it maybe I should’ve mentioned this abnormal behavior to someone. The rest of the game had similar situations occur to the point where I became comfortable with it.
My next move was to play football in high school. I went from playing football instead of homework to actually being a part of a team. This meant that I had to trust others as much as they trust me. I was responsible for my level of play. I wasn’t on varsity for the first two years of high school because I wasn’t taking things too seriously. I was just playing junior varsity games just because it was fun and all of my friends were playing too. Something I didn’t notice until now was that I didn’t have the weird feeling when I wasn’t taking things serious. My junior varsity team went undefeated and nobody cared about it but us. Junior varsity didn’t tell me anything except work harder. I learned at a young age how to take everything into perspective. I realized that there were many things that I could change mentally and physically. I had an immature attitude and wasn’t taking things serious like I needed to. I decided to go with some of my teammates to Louisiana for “The Manning Passing Camp.” This camp was run by one of the more famous families in sports. Peyton Manning and his brother Eli held a camp that was mainly focused on discipline and focus. I played against some of the best high school players in the country and was coached by NFL coaches. I learned how to catch the ball properly and run routes the right way. I was surrounded by NFL players and coaches for about a week. I also got a chance to see how important it was to ply with certain level of focus and intensity. This was camp was the closest I’ve ever felt to being the best in football. I actually got a chance to catch a pass from Divisions 1 quarterbacks.
When I returned home from camp, a different kid with a different personality came home. I worked harder and harder every day because I realized that I am in control of my performance and how far it takes me. It was now time to find out what I can do on the varsity team. Once I began my senior season, my confidence level was off the charts. I went from being a decent athlete to a key player. My team made it all the way to the state championship. We lost the game, but I played the best game of my life at that point. During my senior year there was talk about me playing college football. I didn’t believe that I could make it that far until I went to that camp. I was beating kids that were getting scholarships to play at division 1 schools. My attitude was more mature because I took things seriously.
I chose to go to a school that didn’t have a history of being a powerhouse. I wanted to help bring a team from the bottom to the top so I could feel like I made difference. There was a school in north jersey that wasn’t my number one choice but it fit the qualities of the type of school I wanted. College was a big deal for me because I was now playing against grown men who were fighting for a championship. Everything was faster and everyone was bigger. I had to adjust to this style of play pretty fast in order to actually get on the field.
It was junior year now, we had a game against one of our rivals. I was in the zone as soon as I got off the bus. It was a night game and the lights were on with bleachers full of fans. The crowd was wild all night because they hated us. It was the second half when it happened. I was lined up with a defender in front of me and another defender about fifteen yards back. My body started feeling weird again. I looked into the defender’s eyes and saw curiosity. I could see that he had no idea what was about to happen, and in a sense neither did I. As soon as I heard “hut” I took off in a straight line. I ran right passed one of the defenders and then everything slowed down. I was younger the last time this situation happened, but now it was more important that I have the same result. I saw the ball at the last possible second. The ball landed perfectly into my hands without any adjustment. I took off for about fifty yards. The difference between now and then was that I actually chose to tell someone about this strange occurrence. My dad was amongst the many fans that were at the game and we had our routine post-game conversation. I told him what happened and he wasn’t even surprised. He told me it was a gift. This is when it all started to make sense to me. I learned something about myself and life that day. When you focus and believe in something so much, magical things can happen. It may seem weird at first but there is always a reason why things happen. As far as football is concerned, I was given the ability to slow things down and intensely focus on the ball. In life I can do the same and intensely focus on my goals and decisions.

It was about three days after the game when I received an interesting phone call from my dad. My dad was at home watching the Monday night football game between the Arizona Cardinals and the Cleveland Browns. The conversation was centered around something that Larry Fitzgerald said in an interview after the game. Larry Fitzgerald is by far one of the best wide receivers in the game today. Larry told reporters that something special happens to him when the ball is in the air. The reporters looked at him and asked him to explain. All that Larry could say was that everything around him slowed down and got quiet. The only thing that was in focus was the ball. Larry said that it felt like the world was in slow-motion. When my dad told me about what he heard that night, I felt a bit of relief. I felt good because now I know that what I can do is special and that other people are doing the same thing.
I turned a God-given gift into a tool that I use every day. I still play football at a high level and I still focus on my life and decisions. Each game provides a different set of circumstances that need to be adjusted to, but I deal with each one very well. I see now that each person has been blessed with gifts, but it is ultimately their decision whether they want to use them or not.

Blog 14

The picture that I keep around me is one from my kindergarten graduation. the photo is me and my mom with the best smiles in the land. this photo means so much to me because my mom is no longer with us. My mom has been gone for almost four years now and this photo is something I use to help me get through it. I think pictures are used to bring back memories that we don't normally think about. also, photos can be used to remember someone from a time when they were happy. I know my mom is proud of me, and I think about her all the time. For as long as I have this picture, i can look at her when she was proud.

Blog 13

I'm sure it wasn't too safe, but I decided to look in my closet for things that would grab my attention. I noticed that I always keep alot of floss around me. I like the disposable kind that you buy in bags. I also have alot of things that smell good like sprays and deoderants. I guess these things in my closet could help me write a story about how people value their appearances and sanitary issues. I didn't always have things like this in my closet, but for some reason I felt like I needed to get to them faster. I didn't want to go back and forth to the bathroom everytime. Its weird because its really nice at the top of my closet and hazardous at the bottom. Somehow, I know which clothes are clean even though they might mix with the dirty. A story can surely come from the condition of this closet.

Blog 12

After I looked at my two essays, I decided to re-write my first paper. I felt good about my first essay but I feel like there are more things that I can do to make it better. I plan to involve more detail when I write about the actual games that I played in. I want to provide enough detail in order to make the my readers feel like they were actually there. My second essay is going to be heartfelt and honest and I don't plan to leave any room for a rewrite. I want to write this paper so well that there will be no need to edit.

Blog 11 "Loyal"

Harrison Cade
Essay 2 draft
Loyal

I think it is very funny how life works. If you actually sit back and watch things in your life unfold, you will truly be blown away. It feels like someone is putting me in different situations and putting certain people in my life for who knows what reason. I ask myself all the time, “why are in my life.” I don’t always come up with the right answers to the questions, but I will just say that the time that it takes for me to figure it out has been a gift. I try to learn things from the people that I keep around me, good or bad. The funny thing is, I sometimes learn about myself and the things that I will put up with. I guess a good way to figure out what it is about people is to figure out why they are in my friend zone in the first place. I am actually speaking about one person. I have been through a lot of extra drama on his account and for years I have wondered why I do it to myself. I honestly don’t have to deal with it, but I do. The whole thing started in middle school.
It was eighth grade year when I kept hearing about this seventh-grader who supposed to be an amazing running back. Every other day I heard his name along with his stats and accolades. I never met him until later in the year. It was very nice to meet him because he just seemed so cool and we just clicked. We didn’t hang out that much because we had different friends at the time but I knew we would be cool in high school. We both had plans to play football in the neighboring high school so it wouldn’t be the last time I saw Kj.
I didn’t see him my freshman year of high school obviously because he was still in the middle school. At this time I was playing junior varsity football. I was playing in a game when I sprained my ankle. The injury wasn’t too serious, I just couldn’t practice for a few days. One of the days that I missed from practice was the day when I got a chance to see Kj play. As I limped around, my coach told me to be in charge of the first down markers in the freshman football game. I didn’t feel like doing it but at least I got to watch this young phenom play. I tell no lies when I talk about football, but this kid was a monster. I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t believe what I was watching.
Sometimes there are times when you think someone is lying to you but you don’t want to believe it. Kj was becoming one of the same people that I tried to stay away from. I believe that you are the company you keep. I didn’t want to be seen with a bunch of liars. I heard story about some of the lies that Kj told other people. As soon as they figured out that Kj was a liar, they all started to cut him off one by one. The whole time that this was happening, I was defending him and convincing these people that he wouldn’t do things like this. Even if I would love friends of mine because of him, it seemed ok to me. For some reason, I felt like it was my job to play the big brother role and keep him out of the trouble that he would create. I was never given this responsibility from anyone, but sometimes it all just falls into place.
I was home for the weekend when I got a call from Kj. I knew something was wrong because of the hour that he called. Kj told me to get up and drive to some kid’s house for some fight. I was about to get out of my bed as I began to feel weird. Something sounded funny with his story. Kj was telling me a few names of people that were supposedly at this kid’s house. One of the names that I heard was a close friend of mine named Joey that I knew wouldn’t be at a place like that. I decided to called Joey and ask him what the situation was. I didn’t want to sound obvious about what I was calling for, so I began talking about something else. Eventually, I asked Joe when the last time he saw Kj was. Joey told me that he hasn’t seen him in a year. This was when things started to seem real to me. I never thought that Kj would lie to me of all people, but now I know. I felt so hurt because I felt like all the time that spent helping this kid out was for nothing. So I left him alone for a while.
In college it is easy to get so involved with things that you forget to stay in touch with those who are still at home. It was a few weeks since I saw Kj last. I was in my room anxious to get to bed when my cell phone lit up. There were three text messages that might as well been pages from Kj. From what I was reading, it seemed like I was the only one that he felt that he could confide in. His words were so dark and sad at the same time. He was talking bout giving up on his life and how life would be without him in it. At first was shocked, but I couldn’t take too long to respond because every minute counts in this situation. I picked up my phone and started pressing buttons so fast you would think I was a pianist. I said some things that were motivational, but I let him know that he is in control of what he does in this world. Kj was capable of doing so much better for himself, but he was too busy getting into his own way. Needless to say, I talked him out of doing something horrible. This situation took a serious toll of me because I was sitting feeling like I could’ve been the last person that he talked to. I was worried and sweating all because I felt that it would be my fault if something happened to him.
Every time that I go home I make sure that Kj is ok and has everything that he needs. The harsh truth about this matter is that, sometimes I have views of him ending up in jail or worse. A question that I have to ask myself is why do I put myself through so much pressure. I am not this kid’s father or relative. I am just his friend that cares about him. Friendships are very funny sometimes. I remained friends with someone who treated myself and others worse than enemies would.

Blog 10

For my next essay I feel like i want to write about the strength of some friendship and why people put themselves through hell for their friends sometimes. I am still going through some type of this issue to this day. I like to write about things that I don't understand. I don't understand why people do what they do. I figured others would want to read about something like this as well. The things that people would do for their friend is amazing. I'm focusing on how strong a friendship is and how loyal people can be even if the same treatment isn't given to them.

Blog 9

My ideas about telling my story in great detail went well in my essay. I wanted the reader to feel like they were right next to me when things happened. During the conference we went over many new ideas that could help make my essay more powerful. I have decided to take out some things in the story that weren't as important as the new ideas. I will add more detail to some of the parts of th story. I dont want to feel like I left too much information out. I feel like the finished product will blow the old essay out of the water.

BLog 7

The truth in O'Brian's essay is interesting because reality sucks. The truth is that war stories could never provide the absolute truth because you can never tell a story about something that happened exactly how it happen. Honestly, there is most likely thousands of different stories about the same exact thing. Every person sees things diffrently which gives them freedom to tell their story in their own way. Each version is slanted, this is why you can't believe everything that you read and hear. Also, in this essay I learned that when something is so horrible, it makes it that much more difficult to tell the story. Hopefully, the writer isn't crazy and didn't just add randum things that never happened.

blog 6

i think both "Out there" and "Alive" seem like the type of essay that I would write. I like how the narrator talks as if they are right in front of you. It gives me the freedom to go in any direction and be as specific as I want to be. Like these essays, the readers will get something from the story and possibly learn something. In "Out there", I had an idea where the story was going. In my essay I want to leave clues to keep the reader interested.

Blog 8 Personal essay called "Focus"

Harrison Cade
Writing Creative Non-fiction
Personal Essay
Focus

I used to believe that some things were impossible to do in real life. Certain things belong on television and our imagination. To be honest, I was so stubborn that I wouldn’t believe something was real until I saw it or could touch it. My mindset changed the day I decided to play football outside with my best friend. Football to me was just something to do instead of my homework. I wasn’t one of those kids who went above and beyond to get the good grades in school. I was young so my first plans were to go outside and play and then decide whether or not to do my homework.
I was sitting in my house wondering what my next moves were going to be when my friend came over gasping for air. It was hard to understand what he was saying at first because he had run full speed all the way to my house. He came over to tell me that our rivals from down the street challenged us to a game of football. Little did I know that this game would mark the beginning of my football career and the start of some strange behavior that I never thought was possible. Before we left to go down the street, we listened to some music from the Rocky soundtrack to get ourselves in the zone. It was now game time, time to take what was ours. It was time to take the one thing that many people never get a chance to gain. I wanted to end up coming home with respect. We arrived at the field on time and ready to go to war. We played two on two football, one quarterback and one receiver. My friend Mike had a good arm so he chose to be the quarterback. I wanted to be the receiver because I felt that these guys couldn’t stop me in a million years. I lined up to Mike’s right and had so many things running through my mind. In my mind, I was telling myself that this kid across from me can’t run as fast as I can that he couldn’t cover me. Mike said “go” and I took off. I not only had to avoid one guy, but I had to deal with his team mate as well. I put a move on one of them and saw that the ball was in the air. When the ball was thrown, things started happen to my body. I felt like everything slowed down and got very quiet. This feeling was so strange that it almost felt like I was in a white room with nothing in it but myself, the ball, and a gut trying to stop me from catching it. For the few seconds that the ball was in the air, I felt like a lifetime was going by. The ball was slowly getting closer and closer. When the ball came within my arms length things got serious because now it was me against the defender and I was not losing. I jumped as high as I could and grabbed the ball out the sky. When the ball touched my hand I came back to reality and outran both of my defenders to the end zone. I never actually thought about what happened until recently, but now that I think about it maybe I should’ve mentioned this abnormal behavior to someone. The rest of the game had similar situations occur to the point where I became comfortable with it.
My next move was to play football in high school. I went from playing football instead of homework to actually being a part of a team. This meant that I had to trust others as much as they trust me. I was responsible for my level of play. I wasn’t on varsity for the first two years of high school because I wasn’t taking things too seriously. I was just playing junior varsity games just because it was fun and all of my friends were playing too. Something I didn’t notice until now was that I didn’t have the weird feeling when I wasn’t taking things serious. My junior varsity team went undefeated and nobody cared about it but us. Junior varsity didn’t tell me anything except work harder. I learned at a young age how to take everything into perspective. I realized that there were many things that I could change mentally and physically. I had an immature attitude and wasn’t taking things serious like I needed to. I decided to go with some of my teammates to Louisiana for “The Manning Passing Camp.” This camp was run by one of the more famous families in sports. Peyton Manning and his brother Eli held a camp that was mainly focused on discipline and focus. I played against some of the best high school players in the country and was coached by NFL coaches. I learned how to catch the ball properly and run routes the right way. I was surrounded by NFL players and coaches for about a week. I also got a chance to see how important it was to ply with certain level of focus and intensity.
When I returned home from camp, a different kid with a different personality came home. I worked harder and harder every day because I realized that I am in control of my performance and how far it takes me. It was now time to find out what I can do on the varsity team. Once I began my senior season, my confidence level was off the charts. I went from being a decent athlete to a key player. My team made it all the way to the state championship. We lost the game, but I played the best game of my life at that point. During my senior year there was talk about me playing college football. I didn’t believe that I could make it that far until I went to that camp. I was beating kids that were getting scholarships to play at division 1 schools. My attitude was more mature because I took things seriously.
I chose to go to a school that didn’t have a history of being a powerhouse. I wanted to help bring a team from the bottom to the top so I could feel like I made difference. There was a school in north jersey that wasn’t my number one choice but it fit the qualities of the type of school I wanted. College was a big deal for me because I was now playing against grown men who were fighting for a championship. Everything was faster and everyone was bigger. I had to adjust to this style of play pretty fast in order to actually get on the field. I had my difficult times just like everyone else. I was knocked out a few times and went through pain that I never felt before. I saw first- hand how serious this game is to some of these men. To some of them, football was all they hand to call their own. Some guys came from a broken home and their families were out of control. Football was the only good thing that made them happy. Each year was very important to each guy because unless they were going to play professional ball, football was over for them. After football they would have to be a regular person in the real world. At that point I got another wake-up call. I suddenly thought about what I want to do with football. If I wanted to play professionally, I would need to play so much better than others in our conference. My freshman and sophomore year went ok, I didn’t play too much because they valued the upper classmen. I was only on special teams and some plays on offense. I needed to work harder in the offseason.
It was junior year now, we had a game against one of our rivals. I was in the zone as soon as I got off the bus. It was a night game and the lights were on with bleachers full of fans. The crowd was wild all night because they hated us. It was the second half when it happened. I was lined up with a defender in front of me and another defender about fifteen yards back. My body started feeling weird again. As soon as I heard “hut” I took off in a straight line. I ran right passed one of the defenders and then everything slowed down. I was younger the last time this situation happened, but now it was more important that I have the same result. I saw the ball at the last possible second. The ball landed perfectly into my hands without any adjustment. I took off for about fifty yards. The difference between now and then was that I actually chose to tell someone about this strange occurrence. My dad was amongst the many fans that were at the game and we had our routine post-game conversation. I told him what happened and he wasn’t even surprised. He told me it was a gift. This is when it all started to make sense to me. I learned something about myself and life that day. When you focus and believe in something so much, magical things can happen. It may seem weird at first but there is always a reason why things happen. As far as football is concerned, I was given the ability to slow things down and intensely focus on the ball. In life I can do the same and intensely focus on my goals and decisions.
I turned a gift into tool that I use every day. I still play football at a high level and I still focus on my life and decisions. Each game provides a different set of circumstances that need to be adjusted to, but I deal with each one very well. Life is going throw tons of things our way in order to blind us or take us off our path. It is times like these when we need to slow things down and find out what is more important to us. Once you figure out what is important, you need to make decisions that will support the plan.

Blog 5 Alive

I feel that Drummand's "Alive" was a story used to give people a reality check. Tomorrow is never garunteed and we shouldn't live life like nothing could ever happen to us. There are strange people in the world that would have nothing to lose if they hurt someone. Even though in the story, the strange person turned onto a different road, the woman still felt vulnerble. Being a police officer doesn't make u less afraid. Being alive is a gift, and it could be taken away at any time. The structure of this story was interersting because it built suspense. The story started out normal and grew into a real chase.

Blog 4 Swartz essay

The overall focus of this essay was to go back in history to understand why a father is the way he is. Mimi has a jewish backround that she doesn't reallyknow too much about. This fact eats away at her every time her father says something about how things would be in Rindheim. The first section marks the beginning of Mimi's history lessons.

The next section is used to change the tone from confusion to suspense because it was the first time that they would be going back to Rindheim. The father points things out and explains things that happened there. These sections are also passing time. Mimi is getting older and more mature. this means that she has a stronger understanding of where her father is coming from and why he feels the way he does in a different home.

blog 3

A noticeable difference between these assigned readings and last weeks readings was the language use and the use of "I". Using "I" puts the writer right in the driver seat immediately. Montaigne didn't use "I" that much but chose to shape the essay into some form of religous text. Writing the essay this way kept my attention and enhanced my curiosity.Montaigne gave his story along with some of his own personal views. On the other hand, Orwell told his story without the reader actually feeling like we were actually there with him. What I mean by this is when a writer writes words like "I""We""Us"etc. Orwell wasn't too big with these words. Kincaide was different because she spoke with specific description in order to take her readers with her.

Kincaid's essay

The immediate aspect of this essay was how specific and exact Kincaid was in her descriptions. Creative nonfiction to me show examples of detail and precise information in order to understand what really happened. The "biography of a dress" wasn't very energetic and exciting but for the examples of descriptive language, it did well. In other readings we simply saw how the writer would write as if they were there and in first person. Also, the writier would put a bit of there own spin on things. Kincaid chose to be more detailed and right to the point.

my definition of creative non fiction

I think that creative non-fiction is another way of saying true stories with extra emotions. When people say "creative" I get the idea that they are putting some of their own view and ideas into a true story. Any thoughts?

My first Blog

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My first Blog

Hello everyone!